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| Hugs Make The World Go 'Round Sister Hug with Alissa, Zahara & Odin, Mysore, India 2011 |
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| Superfoods Breakfast |
It’s so easy to get caught in the buzz of life: going,
doing, creating, making things happen. Typical daily routine
goes something like this: brush teeth, quick injection of caffeine or a perk of some
sort, and, for those of us in-tune and on a path, our practice of choice. When flowing in life, my mornings begin with Ashtanga practice, followed by breakfast, before the day unfolds. Recently most days I eat green smoothies,
durian, or a superfood combination of chia seeds, cacao powder, cashews, plus some delicious
fruit, accompanied by invigorating licorice tea. The
moment I turn on my computer and step out my door, I am In Flow. Whether working a café or hunting around town
for PRAY goods, I am focused and following intuition. I have a mission, a purpose, and I am driven, with purpose stronger than any I have known.
PRAY is bigger than me, and I push well beyond my boundaries to ensure
that I am doing everything within my power to move the vision forward.
I have recently become aware that some crucial yet eaily-overlooked,
basic human needs of mine have been left unattended due to uncompromising focus on this vision. What is the basic need that has been missing in my life? Deep, soulful, aligned, heartfelt, organic, human connection via touch.
One of the most basic human needs is touch. In its' most natural, accessible forms, touch can be found in a hug. As newborns dependent upon another person’s touch for connection to
the world. Our primary means to discover
the world begins through human connection, and simply by nature we are held.
When carried as infants, we are enveloped in the arms of loved ones. This is our first experience of a hug. Embraced for the first couple of years of our lives, I believe, instills in humans a
primal need for touch.
This process
of learning affection through touch, mainly hugs, only occurred to me recently. Reflecting, I was greatly
impacted by one aspect of touch that was less than benevolent. Spending months on-end in hospitals between the
ages of 10 and 23, I was frequently touched, but in the most sterile, invasive,
unaffectionate ways. More to the point,
my experiences of touch were associated with stabbing needles, surgery, pain, and masked doctors. Sure, family members and
friends visited and offered hugs, but these visits were infrequent. However, like many, I was blessed to have a
few friends and mentors who were able to teach me unconditional, soulful
affection and love through hugs, even if I was not always good at giving them. The touch I received during childhood, for the most part, did not necessarily provide soothing, balancing energy to help my soul thrive.
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| Goddess Sister Hug Kristy, Jeanna, Zahara, Miranda Bali, April 2012 |
It was only later, when I began traveling, that I was introduced to
touch; healing touch, hugs, community, and welcome embraces in spades. It truly took stepping outside of my safe
American bubble and traveling, to re-design my life, my thoughts, my
perspective, my programming, my behaviors, my interactions, my reactions, my
habits, my attachments, and re-create my mind-body-spirit-soul, from the inside
and out. Within weeks of stepping outside of the grid into developing countries, onto the gypsy path, I dropped into communities I
experienced as open, in-tune, supportive and encouraging of open-armed,
heart-aligned embraces along with lip-to-lip kisses as greetings. In many of the circles I now frequently call
“home”, men greet women in this manner, women greet women, and men greet men
like so. This act does not denote
anything about a person’s sexuality, nor is it a sexual advance or act: it is
an intimate, familial greeting, for people to say: “My divine soul greets the
divine in you. I am open to receive and
give you love unconditionally, for we are brothers and sisters, we are one, we
are the same, we are soul.”
When “home”, I am beyond
grateful for the openness and the free, unconditional love that is
extended. Without thinking I am able to
slip into mySELF; my essence that is comfortable both receiving and giving
this type of affection. My gorgeous
“family” who moves through our home holds space for beautiful, natural, healing,
human connection via routine, daily touch; hugs, simple hand grazes or hands on
shoulders, kisses on lips. The
community is so supportive of healing through touch that one cannot go more
than 30 seconds without seeing people embracing, giving massage, kissing hello
or some sort of organic physical contact.
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| AcroYoga-Soul-Siter Hug: Zahara & Kate, HOME |
Given my upbringing it has taken me quite some time to shift
perspective, open, and appreciate these acts as 1) acceptable, 2) basic human
needs, and 3) precious displays of unconditional love. The first couple of years traveling through communities
of people who are open to touch as healing and natural, I was still stuck in
old patterns, still stuck in my pain shell.
My process of healing began with self; a lot of time connecting with
others through verbal communication, and even more time alone uncovering heavy
layers that had built up over the years.
It was, and sometimes still is, easier for me to crawl into my shell of
pain and fear and remain alone than extend out.
My surrounding environment often makes retreating that much easier. Every year I spend time in India where
embraces between men and women are outlawed in public. Shows of affection frowned upon, even between
women, it is that much easier for the community, thus for me, to regress into
old behavior patterns of retreat, disconnection, and restrain my desire to
reach out and touch my friends and loved ones.
I go through withdrawal and this is one of many reasons I “hit the
wall”, so to speak, after living in India for a few months.
Hommie Hug: Alfred & Zahara, Mysore, India, 2011 Dancing Hug: Iman & Zahara, Mysore, 2011
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| Human Touch via AcroYoga Play, Tonsai Beach, Thailand |
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| "Home-town" Hug: Alie Mae & Zahara |
I had a good 2 month stint in my “home” of open, connected
family immediately following India to recouperate from the lack of human
touch. Inevitably moving on to spread
the PRAY message and product, I recently realized that something has been
missing in my life, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Balance for sure. I mean, I’m working 12-14 hours per
day, more than I have since graduate school.
I live in a city where Thai bodywork is available any given day, but I
have yet to receive one from a true healer.
There is apparently some AcroYoga going on in this city but people
haven’t come together much and I was injured for quite a while. Still, the Acro ceases to be enough. Even romantic connections are not necessarily enough; if connecting with a person who is
not entirely aligned, with an open heart, able to show affection without fear, worry,
protection, the experience ceases to be filling, soulful and healing.
It was when what began as a random connection, referred to
by my new connection as RACs (Random Acts of Connection), that I became aware
just what is missing in my life. Genuine,
heartfelt, open, soul-connected, loving HUGS.
Daily. Nope, not every once in a
while. Daily. I met Brandon in the midst of a work-crazed
month. I hadn’t taken a proper break in
a good month, since spending time in my home with the family for whom hugs,
kisses, and touch come naturally.
Excessive work combined with lack of daily affection,(plus a few other
insane situations, including a bad leg infection), are a recipe for sickness. By the time I met Brandon I was on the verge
of a mini flare-up of the old autoimmune disease. For me this meant exhaustion, inability to
think clearly, mild body and headaches, minor fever, inflammation. Body said: rest, de-stress, chillax. Hmmmm, good idea body. Trip to the temple in the jungle wasn’t
enough. Resting in bed with fun movies
wasn’t enough. Brandon saunters into my
life- not only one of the most outgoing people I have ever met, but extremely
generous with love, insisting on hugging just about everybody. In two days I received at least five solid,
loving, warm, open, heart-felt hugs. The
worst day of the flare-up was also the turning day. I received a good 5-minute-long hug from
Brandon in the middle of the café.
Separating from him I felt his beautiful energy still with me, on my
hands, in my heart, filling my entire body.
Healing began that instant. My
previously heavy, uncomfortable, inflamed energy shifted into a more open space
filled with a feeling of unconditional love.
Brandon was hugging me for the same reasons that my friends in my “home”
hug: because it’s in his nature. He
needs hugs just as much as I do, just as much as you do. A couple more glowing hugs and time out with
this positive, expansive, soulful person connecting with other beautiful souls
(whom we also hugged), and my body was back in balance.
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| RAC: Random Act of Connection with Brandon |
How could I have so easily forgotten my deep need for such a
simple act, a heartfelt hug? I think
it’s extremely easy in urban environments to fill ourselves and our time with
just about anything besides true human connection. I am connecting deeply with divine souls, but
I am merely communicating verbally when in certain environments (typically
urban). I am beyond grateful for the
well-timed, invaluable reminder that a soulful hug can make all the difference
in the world. It can brighten a person’s
day, it can shift energy, it literally has the ability to heal. I am extremely sensitive to other’s energy,
and if I sense fear or walls, I tend to respect their space. Brandon is teaching me that everyone needs
hugs and, with practice, we can be the person to reach out and hug
someone.
It is now my daily mission to be mindful of giving and receiving hugs. I am working to heal others through blessed
PRAY talismans, but this is meaningless without basic human needs. After all, as most of us know (but so easily
forget in our busy lives), hugs make the world go ‘round.
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| Bali "Cuddle Puddle" Hugs |
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