I’m turning 35, so…Fill In the Blank!

About to turn 35

Like most people, my birthdays sneak up on me.  I'm exceptionally good at living in the moment.  The ultimate goal of many people nowadays is to let go of past and future.  I'd like to think I'm special, but honestly, birthday sneak-attacks are merely one peril of living day to day, in the moment, in the present.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have a mind, an ego, and things that happened yesterday still run through my mind.  One of my human "superpowers" is considered by Western society as a coping mechanism: the ability to only be capable of dealing with the here-and-now.  

This human super power/ super strength developed as a benefit of managing and coping with an autoimmune disease for a lifetime.  I lived every day, not knowing what the day held, what my body would do, what kind of pain or suffering the day would bring.  Would there be relief?  Would I see a day without pain?  Would I feel pleasure?  I did not dare consider these questions; they were simply too heavy and daunting to entertain.  Instead, my ability to Be Here Now strengthened.  I got through, one day at a time, and sometimes, one moment at a time.  

Only later in adulthood, once I was more free from disease symptoms and able to explore the world in a healthier body, was I in a position to consider my life, my truth, my future.  What does the world hold for me?  What do I want?  These questions have only been available to me in the past 5 or 6 years.  Undoing a lifetime of non-planning, living day-to-day, working to be happy with what is – is not easy, or really necessary, to undo. 

Inevitably days pass quickly, without notice, and my birthday sneaks up on me.  35 has come as though 10 years was nothing.  I’m not sure how it happened.  Everyone says this, I know.  Now I’m legitimately middle age for lifespan in this day in age.  Shit.  Actually, not shit.  By this brilliant age of 35, I have accomplished what many people will never do in their entire lives.  I examined my life early-ish on, decided I was not on a course in line with my highest-self (though I did not know what that course was), so I re-routed to the unknown.  While there are always more things I want and would ask for, overall my soul is quite content with the path I have chosen.  I do not regret a single moment, whereas had I continued down the old road, undoubtedly I would have felt my soul die a slow death.

4 yrs ago. Hmmm, more
doable now at 35.

Now, at 35, I get to live the dream: the “I’m 35 – now FILL IN THE BLANK – dream”, because I have created the space for it.  I did not lock myself in unnecessary corporate or societal handcuffs.  I am not bound to obligations beyond my desire.  I am free to say and do what I wish.  Even better?  I have finally reached THE age when such actions are completely acceptable.  32 is inconsequential.  34, no one cares.  36, so anticlimactic.  Even 38 is getting cool again, but the only other 30’s age aside from 35 which seems to be a “fuck it all” age is 39, because you are about to turn the big 4-0.  So here I am, just about to turn 35, and MAN I am excited!  Finally have the wisdom I lacked 5 years ago, even 1 year ago.  I still look fairly young and sometimes if I’m really fortunate I get to cash in on my good genes when people mistake me for looking like I’m in my early 20’s.  35 is the year this pays off, not 22.

Still sometimes pass as mid-20 yr old

And the best part?  Those ridiculous antics I pulled a few years ago as a result of feeling FREEdom from a bound culture and sick body, which at the time were iffy at best, are now totally acceptable.  Because I’m 35.  It’s just that age.  My sister and I had this conversation a couple of days ago, and she’s often right even though she hasn’t even hit this age yet.  She’s 32, but knows she could never pull of some of the stuff I’m about to ;).  Like, I’m 35, I can wear tie dye leggings to a wedding if I want.  I’m 35, I can eat Dairy Queen at 2am just because.  I’m 35, I’m going to go dancing in the jungle for 2 weeks with fairy wings.  ….  No questions asked.  It’s no longer a situation of explaining why, rationalizing my decisions to anyone around me, let alone myself.  It’s a “just because” scenario at this point, this year in particular.  I’m 35….Fill In The Blank. 

All you 35 year olds, and 35 year olds to be, get EXCITED!  This is your YEAR!  Do what you feel.  Do what your intuition tells you.  Do what you don’t feel, something on a whim, just because.  I'm not talking about doing crazy things, necessarily, or even stepping out of your boundaries.  I'm suggesting you begin to live the life you have always dreamed.  Do things you always wanted to do but felt constricted, held back for one reason or another.  Guess what!?  Those reasons are illusions, manufactured constructs of the mind, of an illusory reality.  Time to blow that right up and blow your own mind, creating the most magnificent life you could have ever imagined.  

Live it up, girls & boys.  You only have ½ a life to go, maybe less, we don’t even know at this point.  We are damn lucky to have lived this long, better live it up NOW.  

My only question for you now: how will you fill in the BLANK? 

An Unexpected, Healthy Charoset Recipe!

Sometimes coincidences are simply too much to pass up as mere coincidences.  I have never made a fruit salad with these exact ingredients.  Perhaps it was the Moringa.  I think it has magical powers, and when combined with honey and juices from the rose apple, taste like a watered down Manischewitz.

Spring.  One of my favorite times of year.  Everything is fresh and new after being frozen and in hibernation for the winter months (in the Western hemisphere).  Living for a few years now overseas, I haven’t experienced this shift in seasons for a long time.  Do I miss it?  I suppose there are moments when I miss certain times, rituals, traditions.  Growing up and even in my adult years, one of the best things to do in the autumn was pick apples.  This year I was aching for a good hot cider and elephant’s ear at the apple-picking farm.  So strange.

Days roll into one another and are seemingly all the same, weather-wise, routine-wise, here, and many of the beloved traditions from childhood easily slip by.  My all-time favorites, however, are rarely forgotten. 

One of my favorite traditions is related to the Jewish holiday, Passover.  I do not celebrate the holiday in a religious fashion by any means; I am not religious.  The power of tradition and family was instilled in me from a young age.  Nowadays this concept has expanded to far ends of the world, as those I consider family span across the globe. 

Most years traveling I make a point of hosting a Passover gathering wherever I was in the world: India, San Francisco, Cleveland, Bali.  No, we don’t sit around and read from the Hagada.  Although my spiritual friends in India brought passages they thought we would read, but we really just sat around discussing the Kabbalah, yoga, and then giving each other massages.  After, of course, having a delicious meal, which always involves carrying on my favorite tradition: homemade charoset. 

The charoset is the centerpiece of the “holiday” for me.  Perhaps I simply come from a foodie family, but this was always my favorite dish growing up.  Of all-time.  I could eat it year-round if I chose.  Apples, walnuts, brown sugar, and Manischewitz.  Who doesn’t want that!?  I know you are wondering how in the world I found Manischewitz in India.  Well, as luck would have it, the only red wine they sell in the tiny liquor in Mysore happens to taste exactly like Manischewitz. 

Songkran Festivities

Last year I was living on an island during Passover, so we had a gathering.  This year I am in another new town, but frankly completely forgot the holiday --- or so I thought.  Today is the 3^rd day of the Thai New Year, Songkran.  Water blessing for the New Year when water is thrown upon others.  If you are outside, you will get soaked.  I made two attempts to drive out of town a bit to the grocery store and soaked by bucketful’s of water both times.  With all of this holiday madness on my mind; hiding out, how to remain dry, how to get food, Passover has completely slipped my mind.

Last night after a mad dash to the grocery store, I picked up fruit, nuts, and simple foods to eat for the next day.  I was thinking, “easy to carry, snacks, yummy”.  Nothing too fancy.  Then I made a fruit salad this morning out of my procurements from last night’s adventure.  Guava, dragonfruit, rose apples.  I figured I would throw my almonds in there to spice it up, along with some Moringa to keep me healthy, and honey for sweetness.  As I’m eating it, I have a flood of memories come back to me that condense into one thought: PASSOVER!  I was eating what tasted like Passover! 

How can this be!  I made a Thai fruit salad, but it tasted so similar to my charoset.  I blew own mind this morning!  Of course I immediately Googled “Passover 2014”, to discover the first night is, of course, today.   

Why, at the last minute, I picked up one rose apple for my "fruit salad", which no doubt completed the taste to make my breakfast taste eerily similar to my favorite Passover dish, I will never know.  Was it a deep connection to higher self, was it intuition, or was it mere chance?   All I know is that I’m quite happy to wish you all a very happy Songkran, and a very happy Passover.  

Healthy, Asian-Inspired Charoset Recipe:

- 2 Guava

- 2 Rose Apples

- 1 Dragonfruit

- 1-2 packs of smoked almonds (may substitute with walnuts)

- Moringa: 1-2 tbsp to taste

- Honey: 1-2 tbsp to taste

Let me know what you think!  It won't taste like your mom's charoset, but it will sure be good for you, and a nice, healthy substitute if away from home!!!

photo cred: Songkran2014.com