If I keep waiting to have time to write a profound, deep blog that weaves stories present & past together in a meaningful way we will all be waiting a while to read this blog. I will post short and long, whatever I have for now, whatever time I have to BLOG.....
Found myself stopped in traffic on the street earlier, assumed it was for routine Balinese ceremony. Was forced to pull over when the street was taken over by the crowd of people.......carrying a wrapped, dead body down the street.....I was obviously in the middle of a cremation ceremony and procession. Only the gods were taking pictures today.
A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with a friend, flashback 2.5 yrs: Nepal, trekking Annapurna Circuit, sitting at a TeaHouse meeting fellow seekers. G had a head of super curly frizzed out hair that was gorgeous. He was with M, his buddy from Harvard Law School. They were both seemingly brilliant, successful, and world travelers/ adventurers. I was still with my traveling partner who was miserable to be with and quite happy when I met others who had sparkly, shinny souls. G was strikingly handsome but spent the evening calling his girlfriend in Germany. Brilliant, gorgeous, and an amazing boyfriend. Of course. About 10 months pass and I moved to San Francisco. My first 4 days in town held the synchronistic flow and magic that I felt while previously traveling in Asia.
My first weekend in town I Craigslisted 12 apartments, google mapped my way around the city via bart and bus (doing the most inefficient job and getting terribly lost along the way). My 8th or 9th apartment viewing was in the Mission, a place that occupied 5 people. As I walked up the stairs the girl is explaining to me that I would move into J's room. We walk into the kitchen and a girl, J, is washing dishes. She turns around and I realize she's my friend my Mysore, India. 6 months prior, we had bonded during a discourse on the Baghadvagita, where we were the only two Western women. We did not stay in contact, I did not know she was living in San Francisco. As she turned around in the kitchen, soapy sponge and pot in hand, and recognition smashed across our faces, I burst into tears. Both of these synchronistic, auspicious meetings were sure signs that 1) I can trust the flow of life, and 2) I was on the right path.
Jen and I became extremely tight friends. She is family to me, we are dear friends to this day wherever we are in this world. G and I did not see one another in San Francisco. I didn't hear from him until out of the blue one day a Facebook message comes through from him, about being in Bali and wanting to connect. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him, but as shocked as I may have been a few years ago (back when I bumped into him on the street in San Francisco). Nowadays it's routine for me to see people on one side of the world and bump into them on another continent. The beauty is to feel timing, flow, synchronicity and trust. I would love to share more of my perspective on our connection and our evening but knowing that G will likely read this I will hold off.......for now.
Jen and I skyped last night, she in India, me in Bali. She is always the voice of reason and reality. A pillar of strength, if there is ever time she is going through difficulty, she continues to hold space for those around her, to care for her loved ones and friends. I am blessed to have her as a friend, a sister, as part of my family. When we spoke last night about 30 minutes into our conversation she said "What's wrong? I am giving you space to tell me what's wrong. Something just doesn't seem right". I tried to brush it off; "Well, I've been on a green juice cleanse for 4 days and my energy is a bit low, my Vatta is out of balance". Typical BS that gets tossed around the spiritual communities, whether here in Bali, India, or in the West. Often this is true, and other things are going on as well. Fact is, I was not speaking my deeper truth and I was grazing over my reality for J, telling her the story about what's going on here that I would think she, or my parents, or the outside world would want to hear. She actually never wants to hear the "story". J always wants my honest reality, but I've been so caught up in holding the possibility that things are OK here and will get better, that I tell myself this and only tell others the bright & shiny story. J saw right through the bright & shiny. She wanted the Truth. What is my truth at this moment? That I am living in a spiritual community where I connect with many, love everyone, but to use my dear friend's saying, trust just a few. I have always been built to be a truth seeker, to be authentic, blunt, honest, and desire to be around those who are similar. There is a lack of people who possess these qualities where I am currently living. I connect with a fair number of people whom I keep close to my heart, who are my spiritual guides, a couple who are dear friends, 1 or 2 who are family to me, but people pass through and leave as it goes in any ex-pat community. I am left to question: is this city providing my basic needs? I have powerful gifts and wisdom to share, but it must be in a climate that is somewhat supported, and I do not know that Bali has that to offer me.
Whenever, wherever my journey and path takes me, there is no doubt I will meet traveling, seeking family along the way who will remind me that we are on the path and everything is flowing as it should.
Much love and light.
Global Family Gathering, Bali Spring 2012
Found myself stopped in traffic on the street earlier, assumed it was for routine Balinese ceremony. Was forced to pull over when the street was taken over by the crowd of people.......carrying a wrapped, dead body down the street.....I was obviously in the middle of a cremation ceremony and procession. Only the gods were taking pictures today.A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with a friend, flashback 2.5 yrs: Nepal, trekking Annapurna Circuit, sitting at a TeaHouse meeting fellow seekers. G had a head of super curly frizzed out hair that was gorgeous. He was with M, his buddy from Harvard Law School. They were both seemingly brilliant, successful, and world travelers/ adventurers. I was still with my traveling partner who was miserable to be with and quite happy when I met others who had sparkly, shinny souls. G was strikingly handsome but spent the evening calling his girlfriend in Germany. Brilliant, gorgeous, and an amazing boyfriend. Of course. About 10 months pass and I moved to San Francisco. My first 4 days in town held the synchronistic flow and magic that I felt while previously traveling in Asia.
My first weekend in town I Craigslisted 12 apartments, google mapped my way around the city via bart and bus (doing the most inefficient job and getting terribly lost along the way). My 8th or 9th apartment viewing was in the Mission, a place that occupied 5 people. As I walked up the stairs the girl is explaining to me that I would move into J's room. We walk into the kitchen and a girl, J, is washing dishes. She turns around and I realize she's my friend my Mysore, India. 6 months prior, we had bonded during a discourse on the Baghadvagita, where we were the only two Western women. We did not stay in contact, I did not know she was living in San Francisco. As she turned around in the kitchen, soapy sponge and pot in hand, and recognition smashed across our faces, I burst into tears. Both of these synchronistic, auspicious meetings were sure signs that 1) I can trust the flow of life, and 2) I was on the right path.
Jen and I became extremely tight friends. She is family to me, we are dear friends to this day wherever we are in this world. G and I did not see one another in San Francisco. I didn't hear from him until out of the blue one day a Facebook message comes through from him, about being in Bali and wanting to connect. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him, but as shocked as I may have been a few years ago (back when I bumped into him on the street in San Francisco). Nowadays it's routine for me to see people on one side of the world and bump into them on another continent. The beauty is to feel timing, flow, synchronicity and trust. I would love to share more of my perspective on our connection and our evening but knowing that G will likely read this I will hold off.......for now.
Jen and I skyped last night, she in India, me in Bali. She is always the voice of reason and reality. A pillar of strength, if there is ever time she is going through difficulty, she continues to hold space for those around her, to care for her loved ones and friends. I am blessed to have her as a friend, a sister, as part of my family. When we spoke last night about 30 minutes into our conversation she said "What's wrong? I am giving you space to tell me what's wrong. Something just doesn't seem right". I tried to brush it off; "Well, I've been on a green juice cleanse for 4 days and my energy is a bit low, my Vatta is out of balance". Typical BS that gets tossed around the spiritual communities, whether here in Bali, India, or in the West. Often this is true, and other things are going on as well. Fact is, I was not speaking my deeper truth and I was grazing over my reality for J, telling her the story about what's going on here that I would think she, or my parents, or the outside world would want to hear. She actually never wants to hear the "story". J always wants my honest reality, but I've been so caught up in holding the possibility that things are OK here and will get better, that I tell myself this and only tell others the bright & shiny story. J saw right through the bright & shiny. She wanted the Truth. What is my truth at this moment? That I am living in a spiritual community where I connect with many, love everyone, but to use my dear friend's saying, trust just a few. I have always been built to be a truth seeker, to be authentic, blunt, honest, and desire to be around those who are similar. There is a lack of people who possess these qualities where I am currently living. I connect with a fair number of people whom I keep close to my heart, who are my spiritual guides, a couple who are dear friends, 1 or 2 who are family to me, but people pass through and leave as it goes in any ex-pat community. I am left to question: is this city providing my basic needs? I have powerful gifts and wisdom to share, but it must be in a climate that is somewhat supported, and I do not know that Bali has that to offer me.
Whenever, wherever my journey and path takes me, there is no doubt I will meet traveling, seeking family along the way who will remind me that we are on the path and everything is flowing as it should.
Much love and light.
Global family dinner, San Francisco Summer 2010
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